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The Asexual Hypothesis pt 10

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------------------------CHAPTER 17-----------------------------------

Two weeks later Sheldon could no longer resist the siren call of bumper cars and the gang took the day off to attend the carnival with him. His dreadful appearance had earned him a few days paid leave, and the sympathy of his friends and co-workers. Even Mike Kripkie and Leslie Winkle had kept their thoughts to themselves and their bodies at a distance. Dispite everyone's efforts, Sheldon chose to keep his attacker a secret and did not wish to press charges. Partly he wanted to forget the whole ordeal, but also in part because he didn't want to cause Penny any more worry as court procedures were often stressful, long processes. Besides, the man was drunk.

Feeling much better and anticipating a fun filled day, an over eager Sheldon dared to break Penny's rule and knocked on her door at 9AM.

*Knock Knock Knock*
"Penny!"

Penny growled at the first loud series of knocks. She knew he wanted to get started early today but she'd only just woken up and hadn't even made a cup of coffee yet.

*Knock Knock Knock*
"Penny!"

She opened her door to look him over groggily. To his consternation, she had opened the door before he completed his usual pattern of tripple knocks. He waited, hand poised in the knocking position. Still she stood there starring at him as if she didn't realize it. He cleared his throat loudly and raised his eyebrows, still waiting. With a roll of her eyes Penny shut the door and allowed him to finish knocking.

*Knock Knock Knock*
"Penny!"

"Well now, who could that be?" She asked herself theatrically. "Oh my well if it isn't young Dr. Cooper come a courten!" He gave her a stern look, but it quickly melted into an excited smile.

"They have mini trains!" He stated happily holding up a small advertisement for the carnival. Indeed there was a small sized train on the card, packed with small children, their parents waving from the side of a chainlink fence in the background. Dear god… She realized, he's going to ride that.

"Aiiyeee… see that!" Penny smiled and patted his shoulder. "… Exciting!" She feigned a cough to hide her laughter. "So, let me just slip on some clothes and I'll be out the door. I promise." She disappeared into her bedroom and returned to find Sheldon strapping little Shelly onto the outside of his backpack. "Aww we're taking Shelly with us?"

"Yes, I thought he might enjoy the festive atmosphere."

"We should get him some funnel cake!"

Sheldon frowned.

"…He's just a toy, Penny. He's not really alive."

"How silly of me."

+++

Thirty minutes into the carnival the guys were already breaking Sheldon's tight events schedule. In their defense it was unintentional; There was no real way of prejudging waiting time for ride lines, no matter how Sheldon insisted there was. Besides, everyone had forgotten to take into account Howard's height being an issue with certain coasters which resulted in a few pointless line attendances for him. Sheldon had out and out refused to ride the roller coasters.

"Do you have any idea who you're putting your faith into when you strap yourself into those death traps? Engineers!"

Wolowitz, NASA master engineer, gave him a withering glare.

"Engineers of questionable credentials no less! And don't expect for a second that the ride attendant will know when the coaster was last inspected! No, that's too much to ask of them! The most strenuous task they are capable of performing at $7.50 an hour is tearing tickets, and pulling the start leaver!" After making a perturbed expression to himself, Sheldon added. "A chimp could do it better."

"Sheldon." Penny tried to cut off his diatribe.

"No really, Penny, chimps have an amazing capacity for memory that-"

"Look!" She pointed behind him. "The mini train!"

An over animated Sheldon brightened and bounced off happily at first sight of it.

"Come on Penny! The line is opening up!"

"There are like four little kids in line, and I don't see anyone else rushing toward this thing…" Penny told herself quietly. Leonard, Howard, and Raj took the opportunity to slink off to a nearby coaster while Sheldon was preoccupied.

"Have fun!" Leonard called over his shoulder, "I hope you didn't have your heart set on riding up front because he likes to sit in the conductor's seat!"

"Joy."

Penny took her foreseen position next to the daughtering parents beside the chain link fence. Sure enough, there was Sheldon, all awkward long, skinny arms and legs tucked gracelessly into the conductor's seat, four childen lined up behind him like ducklings. Why on earth did Penny not think to bring a camera? The train started and Sheldon gave a silly, "Wee!". He actually said "Wee" Penny hid her face behind her hand.

"Look Penny!" Sheldon called out to her excitedly. "They're using Ballastless tracks!"

"I see that! Isn't that an interesting choice…" Penny called back, humoring him. Inevitably, the daughtering faces had become confused as they all turned to scrutinize Penny. At first Penny was overwhelmingly embarrassed. She tried to keep her focus on the dorky physicist riding slowly around in circles, and not on the uncomfortable eyes on her. Watching him like this began to warm her heart. He was so happy. Just two weeks ago something so horrible had happened to him, and now this. It was so wonderful to see him in good spirits that she felt herself let go of her humiliation. Plus she had to admit, as embarrassing as it was, she found him even more adorable.

Aww, what the heck, why not?

"Can you blow the horn?!" She called out to him.

"Let me check!" Sure enough a loud toot came from the train engine. "Yes, it appears I can!"

*TOOT TOOT TOOT*

"That's my boyfriend!" Penny fearlessly announced to the curious faces around her. They joined her in a good laugh.  "He's a physicist with an IQ of 187!"

"No!! Really??" The laughter became infectious and soon the whole crowd was enjoying Sheldon's antics.

++

Meanwhile Leonard, Howard and Raj were strapping themselves into The Rolling Death: a 350 foot tall "death trap" clocked at 115 miles per hour. The excitement of the impending ride was not enough to distract the boys from three beautiful women who took the seats in front of them. And it especially didn't distract Leonard from the cute, yet extremely bashful ride attendant girl in red braids and glasses. She was obviously blushing over him and couldn't bring herself to look him straight in the face, or even talk to him. She strapped him in shakily before moving on to the next cart. He found his eyes transfixed to her, but wasn't sure what to say to break the ice other than a soft, "thank you" to which she ducked her head and nodded.

"Hey ladies," Howard did his best to sound suave and experienced. "This your first time on the ole' Rolling Death?" The girls giggled sheepishly.

"Yeah, is it really scary?" The blonde seemed frightened.

"Oh, it's not so bad." Howard sighed casually. "Took my little niece on it for her eighth birthday and she was okay."  The girls looked relieved.

"Howard!" Raj whispered in his ear. "Have you really ridden this before?" He was shaking visibly, clining to the small metal grip bars at his sides.

"Nope."

"Ohhhh… I should have used the restroom before we got in line." Raj winced.

"I told you to, why didn't you go?" Howard scolded.

"I didn't want to lose my place in line!" Raj whined. The coaster started to pull forward slowly causing Raj to cling harder than ever to his rail. Even Leonard looked noticeably frightened.

"Typical, just typical. This is just what you pulled last week." Howard continued to reprimand his best friend. "When you came over for dinner and I warned you that my mom always gets you worked up about--"

The coaster made a sudden dip that caused all three boys to scream in a most unmasculine mannor. The girls however were laughing and screaming and throwing their hands up with each drop and twist in the track. Raj clung to Howard and burried his face in his shoulder.

"Hold me Howard! I don't want to die alone!" His grip on Howard's chest was painful.

"Augh! My idiopathic arrhythmia!" Howard wasn't sure he was actually having heart trouble or not, but he certainly felt that he was.

"Oh God, I don't remember that part!" Leonard cried, his voice broken like a teenage boy. He gestured to an upcoming part of the track where it was apparent they would be riding upside down for some time. As they climbed the tallest hill, just before spiraling down, Howard returned Raj's death-grip-hug and they clung together like lovers in some sort of death pact.

"Oh God, Jesus, Buddah, Vishnu! I swear I will never lie to a woman again! Just don't let me die here!" Howard cried into Raj's neck.

++

The three boys schuffled their way over to the mini train where they were shocked to find Penny and Sheldon both riding together quite snug in the caboose and even more shocking, Penny was having just as much fun.

"Good God they really are working out together aren't they?" Howard blinked. Raj nodded.

"I guess Peppermint Patty and the Hulk are more compatible than previously believed?" Raj wondered aloud. After a long hard look at the odd couple, Leonard felt his heart finally let go of whatever bitter hurt was left. There was simply too much happiness there over seeing Sheldon in love, and Penny so happy for any more jelousy.

"I can't believe I couldn't see it before…" Leonard's words drew the attention of his friends. "They actually make a lot of sense when you think about it… yeah." He smiled to himself. Howard and Raj exchanged confused looks. Nothing about it still made any sense to them.

Once Sheldon and Penny had peeled themselves out of the tiny train, they took no time at all to notice Leonard's glasses were missing.

"Yeah, I lost them when our coster dumped us upside down. I think I may have lost some of my tickets too… The girl who runs the ride said she would get them back to me by 7pm tonight if we're still here." He blushed, "She took my number… said she'd meet up with me to return them…"

Penny beamed him an elated smile and gave him a rough but friendly thwap on the shoulder.

"Was she a cutie?"

Leonard fumbled the cords from his hoodie between his fingers shyly.

"Yeaah…"

"Alright Leonard! When she brings you your glasses you CAN NOT chicken out okay?"

"Kay."

"Still don't see how that mediphore is valid…" Sheldon, the grand chicken madador, mumbled to himself as he counted his tickets.

"The bumper cars aren't far from here." Raj announced to the group via Howard's ear.

"Don't you still have to go to the bathroom?" Howard recalled.

"Not anymore…" Raj hung his head in shame. Howard gave him a once over, to find that Raj had tied his jacket suspiciously around his waist.

"…Walk it off buddy."

++

A restroom break and a change of pants later, the five of them raced to pick out their bumper cars. At first Penny had acted as a sort of wing man for Sheldon, adhering to his commands to gang up on the small children and Raj. Easy targets before moving on to Howard and Leonard. If you managed to bump another person before they bump you, they were considered "dead" and their revenge attacks were not actually counted as a kill so much as an annoying obsticle to be avoided. The group was forced to stand in line five times to re-ride the bumper cars with no sign that Sheldon was growing tired of it. After a while, the temptation to get Sheldon's goat over came Penny. She rammed him hard at full speed from the side. The utterly betrayed, inraged expression on Sheldon's face was well worth the effort. He steered madly, but it's difficult to get a bumper car to move quickly once it's been stopped dead. Before he could manage to chase her down the cars slowed and their turn was over.

"Let's do something else." She declared lethargically. The guys moaned in agreement. A strange series of sounds came out of Sheldon as though he had started a thousand sentences before making up his mind as to which he wanted to say.

"Oh sure, lets quit now without giving me a sporting chance to redeem myself after your unexpected sedition!"

"Look… we can settle this in a different contest okay? You pick." Penny was disturbingly nonchalant about her cold hearted mutiny.

"Fine." Sheldon had a look around. "We'll have a race!" He pointed to the paddle boats.

"In those?" Penny was awestruck at how he managed to take one childish ride after another so seriously.

"Yes. I will defeat you in a battle of physical prowess, speed, and endurance. I will cream you like so much Nebraskan corn and send you back home to the farm!" Completely unaware that his insult was lacking a certain crushing blow to match his dark delivery, Sheldon towered over her smugly. He was probably just happy he was able to think up an insult at all really. Penny smirked in return.

"I would make a dirty comment about you creaming me, but I'm sure you wouldn't get it." With that she stalked off toward the paddle boats, leaving him befuddled and frustrated that she had called him on it.

"That was sooo hot…" Howard managed as he gawked after her. Sheldon shot him a startled look with maybe just a hint of jelous annoyance. Maybe.

++

The five of them met up at the putt-putt golf course at 7pm. Sheldon had managed to beat Penny at paddle boats, and even with his constant gloating she still couldn't have been less bothered. Somehow along the way he began to feel guilty though, and won her three large plush toys before being banned from the carnival games for his deadly accuracy. Now the two of them dragged their large spoils from hole to hole around the course.

"No Leonard, you're still taking the angle too wide, it's only a 113 degree angle!"

"I know Sheldon, but knowing where to hit it and actually being able to accurately hit it are two different things!"

"I see. Well, I suppose even your level of intellect can't manage to overcome your feeble physical skills… Pity." It was Sheldon's way of agreeing, but he couldn't dare to put it nicer now could he?  So this is what it's like to play Putt-Putt with physicists, Penny thought to herself. All physics and precise calculations and serious faces. How could they be enjoying it at all this way?

A familiar, quiet red head in braids and glasses made her way over to Leonard. Penny nabbed an oggling Howard by the ear and Raj by the elbow and led them off to the next hole. Sheldon followed, burried in plushies.

"It's getting kinda chilly out." Penny noted as she watched the last bit of the daylight dissapear into night on the horizon. Sheldon sat the stuffed animals aside.

"Indeed…" A realization clicked in his head. "Would you like to borrow a jacket?" Penny smiled a the first boy friendly thing she had heard him say in a while.

"Yes, I would like that…"

"Leonard! Give us your jacket!" Sheldon bellowed as he marched over and pulled it off of him without awaiting an answer.

"Sheldon! That's embarrassing, why did you do take his jacket? He's trying to talk to that girl!"

"Oh. I don't see what is embarrassing about it, but I did not bring a jacket and Leonard is the same approximate size as you so I figured his jacket would fit you best." He slipped it over Penny's shoulders, it was too late to take it back now anyway.

"I hope she decides to go out with him." Penny looked on with a growing fondness for the idea. "She seems so shy and cute!" Sheldon's calculating eyes fixed on the pair across the course.

"I believe she's a good choice for Leonard."

"Oh?" Penny had never heard Sheldon say anything of the sort in regards to Leonard and other women.

"Yes. Typically Leonard has found himself with overtly assertive women whom he can not bring himself to disobey, or even word his thoughts to. This results in a terribly one sided relationship that is always doomed to failure. A girl on the same submissive level who regards him with as much admiration as he does her is a much better match. It is far more likely that the two will be willing to communicate with one and other's feelings under consideration. Assuming they can get past the cripling shyness to communicate at all of course."

Penny snuggled against his arm happily.

"That would be so amazing, I want that for him."

"… Me too." The two watched the fledgling couple in companionable silence for a moment.

"If your meager skills at pair-bonding have managed to attract her, tell her she's invited to play with us!" Sheldon called out, waving his putter.
Title: "The Asexual Hypothesis”
Author: Takineko / Takineko V
Rating: PG?
Chapters: 17/18?
Word count: 2901
Summary: A day at the carnival
A/N: I stayed up late writing this nutty thing. Longest chapter ever! [I think] I hope you like it, it’s kind of all over the place.

This is a fan fiction for "The Big Bang Theory" sitcom which airs Monday nights on CBS.
Sheldon X Penny ship!

Disclaimers: I do not own the characters or the series. I did write this. I DO NOT OWN THE PREVIEW IMAGE.

Part 1 [link]
Part 2 [link]
Part 3 [link]
Part 4 [link]
Part 5 [link]
Part 6 [link]
Part 7 [link]
Part 8 [link]
Part 9 [link]
Part 10 [link]
Part 11 [link]

:iconsheldon-penny::iconiloveyouplz:
© 2009 - 2024 Takineko
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FYI, Kripke's first name is Barry.